I fancy the old-fashioned style of writing: pen on paper. I get annoyed with all of these electronics gadget most days, although some seem to be a necessary feat. My main issue is the fact that the lifespan of electronics has been shortened drastically. All for profit, I suppose. And that approach leads to less timeless products being made in order to turn buyers into “constant consumers.” Buy buy buy! Nothing wrong with what you have now? Cool. New, improved product right around the corner (that doesn’t really do much more than the nifty gadget that you have now, but of course you will be convinced otherwise). Humph. A good portion of these products don’t last long enough to even be good investments, or worth it for that matter. And what a surprise, these things are still highly acclaimed and overvalued. It truly baffles me.

I find myself frustrated with the world and the people in it. But I can’t expect everyone to think like me. I’m not sure if this world would still exist if everyone did. There’d be millions of rebels running around questioning everything and more than content with life’s bare necessities. In that regard, I predict a dismantling of the establishment! I often ask myself: ‘How did I get here?’ How did I end up developing this way of thinking, how did I end up at this specific point in my life, making the decisions that have landed me in this spot. And then I ask myself ‘What can I do about this world, this fragment of a world that has reached its end?’ Well, one thing’s for sure: I can’t save it; it’s dead, or going through a cleansing/rebirth process (hopefully). If all else fails Planet Zola will forever be full of life and vivacity. A far better place to dwell for me and my mentality, sure thing.

Alas, the contradiction. It still doesn’t stop me from being utterly confused with the world. Something this tragic has to be a figment of my imagination. The world in my head and this planetary projection collide, violently. And there arises the ultimate contradiction: I am filled with bouts of love and unity and peace and understanding, and this projection of a reality breeds hate and division and chaos and judgment. Why? I suppose the external world should be the inverse of the internal one, if we assume that there is a dichotomy-style relationship between the two.

Oddly enough, I have discovered that being the contradiction and doing contradictory things based on the standards of one’s society is enlightening to say the least and has the capacity to restructure your values and perspectives on everything. I am me, unapologetically. If it means showing love and maintaining peace and trying to find understanding as well as unveil the unifying factors that connect all living things in a world that blatantly promotes the contrary, I take on the challenge. As much as I am baffled at the value humans give to the strangest things, they in return may be baffled at my entire approach to life. Now, it makes my experience even more of  a thrill because I am against such odds. I am a force to be reckoned with. I am not going to dim my internal light just to assuage external darkness. I might be dark in my inquisitions, but I’ll be damned if I dim my light.